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Road Block

attachment reactive attachment disorder (rad) Nov 05, 2022
road sign do not enter

There was a Huge Wall

I first saw Anna across the circle from me. Her long blonde hair hung in a braid over her shoulder. She was wearing a beautiful handmade Mennonite style dress but what struck me the most were her eyes. They were cold, dark and vacant. The happy chatter around the circle at camp from other families did not seem to be breaking through her dark thoughts. There she stood in a circle of people completely alone. The six years she spent abandoned in a Russian orphanage had not done good things for her little life. Now at 16, she was angry and avoidant with a huge wall between her and her loving adoptive Mother and Father. They carried the only medicine that would heal her heart and yet she rejected it. Love had not been enough. These loving parents had traveled thousands of miles across the country to camp seeking help for their daughter.


It Helps to Unload

A few days later I was across from Anna at the lunch buffet table. I saw a gold braid across from me and as she turned her head, beautiful eyes met mine followed by a soft smile. Where once there had been darkness now there was light. I remarked on the beauty I saw before me in that smile from her heart. Softly she replied, “It helps to unload” then moved on getting her meal. I stood for a bit and watched. Her beaming mother looked in her eyes often as if to check and see if the dark was still gone and to refuel her newly found hope. Each time her eyes were met with Anna’s soft, loving smile that filled both of their hearts. I found myself often watching the two of them, and the proud loving dad, throughout the week. I love watching a child reach for healing and start to embrace the good stuff!



I had my pup, Elan, with me and Anna stopped by my table to visit with us. As she started to leave she turned back and said with joy, “ I’m free!” My heart filled and so did my eyes! My dream is for every child to feel that! To be free of the burden of pain that destroys their joy and their family’s dreams is what I want for every wounded child! Anna had made that happen and I was honored to be a small part of it.


What blocks our kids from healing? Anna and the others with courage who found: “it helps to unload” have taught me the answers to that one. Secrets, unresolved issues from the past, not feeling safe and a few more issues can stop healing from happening! I want every child to have what Anna found; how good love feels, how free it feels to unburden your heart with someone you trust, how wonderful life is without roadblocks.


This is so important to me I have decided to work extra hours this next month to create a special, powerful webinar covering this subject in depth. I want parents and professionals to have answers to help the children to be free and beautiful from the inside out, like Anna! Anna’s shining smile will light the way for others. This free webinar on Road Blocks to Healing is MY GIFT to you!

(The webinar was fantastic! I made the recording available for free to all of you) Here is the link:     Webinar Link

Keep your sunny side up!

We can make a difference, Nancy


Photo by Jens

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