Our camps and resources are research backed and approved by Nancy Thomas. They are so successful we now have copycats. Be careful of counterfeits! The real ones are all listed here for you to get the most effective help!

Book a call

Make It True

stories of hope Oct 28, 2022
three teen boys

By Diana Rose Frances

Unconditional compassion IS the root of humanizing the traumatized child.
I worked in a small, community-based group home for boys ages 12 – 17 in Denver, CO. This community-based group home had a small, long-term staff that acted as not only guardians and caretakers for the boys, but as a caring extended family.

Each child had a primary mentor, that acted as guardian and stand-in-parent. My assignment as a primary for a new child was not an easy one. His attitude and behavior made it difficult to connect with him. At the time, I honestly did not enjoy being around this child. As a person who prides myself on being authentic, honest, and transparent with my words and emotions, I struggled with how to speak to and about him.

In my mid-twenties at the time, I was new to care giving. I felt at a loss of how deal with this seemingly dead-end situation. I eventually built up the courage to address my concerns with another staff member that had been there much longer than I had. She smiled at me, calmly, and reassuringly. She told me “Just tell him you like him a lot, and you care about him, and so you want to spend some one-on-one time getting to know him better.” In my outspoken fashion I replied “But none of that’s true!” Quickly, and in a more serious tone, she replied “Then make it true.”

I was blown away in that moment. I had narrowed down my options to either remain honest and distant, or lie and say “nice” things to a child. She challenged me to change the truth in my heart, and stretch myself to see the good in a child that had experienced so much bad. Before that experience, I did not think it was possible to authentically change your feelings from the inside so quickly. I took her advice. I was happy to find out that I was wrong, and she was right. I found through shifting my lens from an irritated caregiver to an unconditionally loving support system and cheering squad, I found a fondness for this child.

The remainder of our time together at the group home, I am happy to say, was positive and fun. I took my colleagues’ firm, but compassionate advice, and I changed the way I viewed and expected “results” from our boy. He, in turn, felt safe and genuinely important, and was able to show some parts of himself that were warm and funny. I found out he was a comedian and he had a side that was sweet and vulnerable. I only found out, however, after I changed the way I approached him.

I changed for the better due to the advice that I received that day. Without it, I doubt my work with severely traumatized children could have amounted to much. Unconditional compassion IS the root of humanizing the traumatized child. I found a way to “make it true.”


Photo by olia danilevich

Cut the chaos! Find out how Nancy did it the easy way!

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and get this bonus booklet.
I know you are busy!! I won't overload your inbox!

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.