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Dealing with Defiance

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Attaching Parents

Fighting Parents

Use loving eyes  Calm assertive voice  Empathetic – "I can see you are not strong now"  "You can rest until you are ready"  "You can stand/sit/lay or kneel"  A gentle supportive hand on child’s mid shoulder/back of neck area (to calm)  Take a deep breath and walk away  Are happy the child is resting and use the time to have fun yourself  Are happy for the child when child is ready to comply Are patient while child is "resting and testing"

"You will too!"  "Do it Now!"  "Because I said so" (standing stiff with hands on hips)  Yelling Swearing at child  Calling Child names  Repeating orders/commands  Threats – "If you don’t I’ll…"  "You’ll be sorry"  Grabbing/Hitting  Glaring Gloating when victorious

 

 (For more information on stopping stealing and other behaviors, read When Love Is Not Enough)

 

 

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Last Modified:  September 17, 2005